Unofficial Tex Murphy

Title: This is Why I Quit Police Work (subject)

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9a3_1208431710

funny

I'm just wondering, are these people for real? Do they not know they are absolutely f*#$ing dumb?

Those were really good. Especially the woman who locked herself in her car.

Reminds me of a lot of calls we use to get when I was in high school and worked the Tech Department at Best Buy... People would call in and talk about how they just bought the computer but it wasn't working... Standard first question to ask the customer, "Is Your Computer Plugged Into The Wall?" I can't count how many times I could hear them swear in the background come back to the phone and just hang it up instead of looking stupid...

Nothing beats the one woman I had bring her computer back into the store, put it on the counter and tell me, "My Cup Holder Broke The First Time I Used It." I was very puzzled at this, until she pulled her CD ROM Tray out of her purse... She even showed me the circle indention on the tray where her cup was meant to sit while she was on the computer...

Ah i love stuff like that, though it does astound me at how some people survive in this world.

Oh, I swear if I had the power I would have made sure that woman never had a computer again...

As for the video thing, if I had the power, I'd make sure that woman near the end was never again allowed into a car...

You have to hear some of the adventures I have at my work. I work part time for Foxtel (Australian cable tv network) and I help with technical support. Boy, where to begin.

Here's one scenario. This is a real call, I $#it YOU NOT:

Customer: Hi Joel, i can't get any picture or sound.

Joel: I see, can I just ask, what colour lights do you have on the foxtel box?

Customer: what box?

Joel: The set top box that the technician installed....

Customer: uuuhmmm...

Joel: it should be silver...

Customer: oh that one! (customer has been with us since 2002 and I am speaking to the account holder whose name the contract is in)

Joel: Yeah. What colour lights do you have on it?

Customer: silver

Joel: no, thats the colour of the box, the lights

Customer: uuhhh.....oh green!

Joel: Terrific, thanks so much for that. Green light suggests that the box is on and that you should actually be receiving signal. Do you know if you're on the correct A/V channel?

Customer: ABC? (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Joel: hmmm....never mind. Have you attempted holding down the select and back button simultaneously (big mistake using this word) for 5 seconds?

Customer: uuhhh no, hang on (doing something) Nothing

Joel: did you do that on the set top unit?

Customer: no

Joel: Thats ok, on the box for me

Customer: (end of phone is dead silent, customer has walked away to do it without giving any prompt what so ever - now returns) Sorry was that stand-by and select?

Joel: no, select and back

Customer: (goes away again, returns 2 minutes later) there's no button at the back

Joel: No, the button labelled back

Customer: oh......

Joel: yeah....

-awkward silence-

Joel: are you there?

Customer: yeah

Joel: do this instead, just switch the power off at the power point for twenty seconds.

Customer: what, i have to go outside.

Joel: no, the power point, the socket. Do you have a toaster?

Customer: huh?

Joel: a toaster

Customer: no

Joel: so, no toaster, you don't toast your bread in the morning

Customer: yeah

Joel: that's a toaster

Customer: oh a toaster

Joel: thats the one. you know how you plug that into a socket? You need to switch that off for 20 seconds at the wall where the foxtel is plugged into

Customer: (yet again vanishes without warning, returns) It doesn't do anything

Joel: how do you mean?

Customer: it doesn't move

Joel: what, the lights don't flicker on the box?

Customer: no, the toaster doesn't pop up or anything

Joel: no....switch the foxtel off at the electrical socket for 20 seconds

Customer: (vanishes for a couple of minutes - suddenly, can hear a crashing noise in the background, customer returns) why did you tell me to do that for?

Joel: do what? are you ok?

Customer: you told me to put my finger in the socket

Joel: uuuhh......pardon?

Customer: i put my finger in the socket and i got shocked

Joel: (puts customer on mute for a seconds, exclaiming "FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!") I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO DO THAT, WHY WOULD I ASK YOU TO DO THAT?

Customer: you told me-

Joel: I DIDN'T!

Customer: Am I going to die now?

Joel: No, you won't but i would see a Doctor, just let them know what has happened, might be a good idea to have a glass of water or two.

Customer: Doctor?

Joel: yeah

Customer: it's bad isn't it?

Joel: no, it's just in case

Customer: oh jesus- *hangs up*


The good thing is, i never got any feedback, I went to tell my supervisor right away and they laughed, i'm still working there to this day sharing this story

There are many other stories like this too, let me know if you'd like to hear them!

UN - BELIVABLE!!! That's a great story, Joel.

You should have heard the recording of the call! For quality assessment and training purposes our calls are recorded and I can access them....it was a fun afternoon.

I'm trying to imagine what it would have been like to have been in your shoes Joel...and that makes my head hurt! That must have been a very difficult call.

There are some people who survive on luck alone. I've seen them.

Also, that's a great story Einstein once said that he believed only two things to be limited; the universe and human stupidity. Although he also claimed he wasn't sure about the latter.

-Fred

Wow Joel, that's incredible.

The ability to put customers on hold and scream at them must be a lifesaver hey

The lady who locked herself in the car reminds me of an incident at an off-road event I attended. It was a Winter off-road adventure called the Snow-Blind.

One family came up in a couple vehicles. Dad came up a few hours ahead and was waiting for his kids to drive the other Jeep up to the park. On their way, the kids ran their Jeep off the highway and got stuck in one of those valley-like medians between the north and south-bound highways.

They spent half an hour trying to push it out. Gave up and walked a couple miles to a telephone to call Dad. Dad asks, "Well, did you put it in 4-wheel-drive?"

There's a moment of silence and then the kid replies with a meek, "Oh."

They won the award for most stupid move at that year's Snow-Blind.

Thanks for sharing, hilarious video.

Joel that was an awesome story. I love things like this. Feel free to post some more.

I'm sure almost everyone already knows about this site:
http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Yep, That's about how I remember most of my Tech Support calls as well... lol

It's amazing that the Human Race is classified as an Intelligent Species sometimes...