A funny joke.:)

A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it.



He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?'



'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus.'



The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. And so he asks, 'What are the three tests?'



'You must pay first...Those are the rules,' says the bartender.



So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.



'Okay,' the bartender says, 'Here's what you need to do:



First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can't make a face while doing it.



Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.



Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who has never had sex...You have to take care of that problem!'



The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things...'



'Your call,' says the bartender...'But, your money stays where it is.'



As time goes on, and the man has a few more drinks, he finally says,



'Where's the damn tequila?'



He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks...but he doesn't make a face, and he did it in fifty-eight seconds!



Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.



Soon the people inside the bar hear growling , biting, and screaming sounds...then nothing but silence!



Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches and he's bleeding all over his body.



He says, 'Now where's that old woman with the bad tooth?'



The moral to the story:

Listen carefully to the directions, and don't trust your judgment when alcohol is involved!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
"If you look to me for illumination, you better have a flashlight!"
It's funny, but it's been going around in email for awhile now...

It's kind of like the one with the guy who finds the Genie Lamp...

He gets 3 wishes, but his wife gets double what he gets...

So he wishes for a Million Dollars...
Well your wife gets 2 Million Dollars...

Then he wishes for a Brand New Mansion...
Well your wife gets 2 Mansions...

Then he wishes to be beaten Half to death...
:mrgreen:




Anyone watch that Celebrity "I Get That A Lot" show they did for April 1st???
The Paved Straight Road, Won't Always Get You Farther Than The Winding Dirt Road...


Can You Run Your Game??? Click Here And Find Out...

*Note, Not All Games Have Been Tested & Therefore May Not Be Listed...
A barber had recently hired a boy as his apprentice. For his first customer, the lad had an old crippled veteran, who was, unfortunately, minus an arm.

The man sits in the chair, and the boy starts in. He lathers him up and goes to work with the razor. First he nicks him once on the chin. Apologizing softly under his breath, he continues. After a cut on the right cheek and another on the left, the boy is really getting nervous. So he tries to start up a conversation.

"So uhm, have you been in here before"? the young man asked.

To which the old soldier replied dryly "No sonny, I lost the arm during the war."

-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
A man is about to sit down for dinner when he hears a knock at the door.

Frustrated, he gets up, walks over to the door, opens it, and looks down to see a snail.

Furious, he picks the snail up, flings him as hard as he can into the distance, closes the door, sits down and continues to eat his meal.

2 years later the man is about to sit down to dinner when he hears a knock at the door.

Frustrated, he gets up, walks over to the door, opens it, and looks down, seeing the same snail.

The snail looks up at him yelling, "Now what the hell did you do that for?"
I gots a webcomic! http://yetanothercomic.com